Church Service - 7/15/12 10:45 service

Service was pretty good today we had a guest speaker and he was good... I was already prepared for that because a lady said there was going to be a guest speaker when she was leaving. She went to the early service aka the laid back service lol... I was going to the early service at one point but it started conflicting with my late night schedule lol (not even like that)... Even though we had a guest speaker I still got some good notes and a lesson from the word thus resulting in a good Sunday... The life message this morning is no matter how the message is delivered or who speaks... The voice of god is always understood... hmmm yea I should put that on FB lol.

One Shot Thought

It only brings out the pain that was crept up inside relative to the mistake one made even tho it was in the past.... You wish for another chance to mend your faults... The feeling can't be replaced but can be traced and forgiven... Tho it is not forgotten you still feel the possibility... One more to the head and you pray for a false hope but to you its at arms reach so what are you to do.. Replace it or retrace it... One more shot... - Jmoris McGowen

Black Men's Apology: A False Love Letter To Black Women

I apologize for what I have done that is the negative of whats expected...

For walking a forced path of fear that will haunt our generations through time...

I apologize for the mindset I have developed that wont ever be understood instead be stereotyped...

Eternally branded into the minds of our childrens children...

For the creation of dead hopes with no foundation of love...

For the want of your bodies for lustful pleasures...

I apologize for protecting you in reverse...

Not for the mending of a broken side but the severing of a once patched up heart...

For that I apologize...

I apologize for the nights with the guys "Congrats for your new son" followed by my selfishness "babe do you really think we need this"...

For the "were to young" the "we were only friend though" and "It's not mine but ill pay half anyway"...

I apologize for leaving you alone in a hopeless state, a helpless fate to become a chain that I drag to the grave...

I apologize for leaving my wallet at home so you could "hold me down"...

I apologize for having your mind wrapped around shakin ya ass on a pole to make a living...

Guess that shit dnt matter long as im happy right???

I apologize for letting this drag out so long you thought I mean every word im sayin ...

You know what... I apologize for lieing like that cuz I really do mean it...

I apologize for making a joke of this poem Its supposed to be serious...

I apologize for sending flowers just because when they really were not for you...

Oh and the day I came home and let you smelled my dick to see if I was cheating again...

I apologize for showering at her house so you wouldnt know your sister was hoein...

I apologize for that quiet trip to the doctor with the pop that pussy song goin...

For the burning sensation I gave you cuz the truth is your sister really was hoein... Truth be told she was better...

I apologize for the beaping on the machine my phone fina die so I apologize but ima call you back....

The Roots "Sleep"

notes I jotted down

What would you be without me or would you even be in my absence. abstinant is what you are from my mental. you are nothing more than cerebral leviathin never to understand the true light of a mind pure of drowning darkness. Out of my mind is were you stay. Out of my mine is where you stay. Double standard.-Jmo

I wana be in space between ya legs without milkin ya dreams away.-Jmo

Id rather be healthy and awake than sick and tired.-Jmo

Immune to the bullshit vaccines for insecurities.-Jmo

In the mist of summertime where would you lay your.... When summer rise. No maddness falls in the autumn but freezes over winter for 40 nights.-Jmo

Fuck ya 3 wishes ima just fuck ya in 3 positions.-Jmo

I often wish that I could save everyone and still drapped from my nooses.-Jmo

A thug is a baby waiting to cry when he stares down a barrel in the clutches of a nigga he now calls daddy. Screams out his gangster mating call one moment then the next nuts up and screams I ant pull the trigger......Bitch.-Jmo

Shroud you in a manifest of....-Jmo

You cant open a can of sardines expecting tuna.-Jmo

I'm quick to be disabled or dismembered but you see me stand on top of my shit.-Jmo

Lookin at myself this is what I dream to be. What I declare to never develop I became.-Jmo

When your famous you become the property of the people.-Jmo

Hence the imagination without the reality.-Jmo

Untitled (Unfinished) A duet wit my patna Rahmond

( Rah Part ) Still working this cotton gin... wondering when this horrific torture will end...

Everyday i go out and work till every inch aches, until callused skin and blood blend.!

7 days a week 365 days a year i must be cautious..

Watching my people get whipped and beat makes my stomach permanently nautious

My mind in emotional trauma... so I rely on my soul

This forced bondage forces me to pay and take its high priced toll

( Jmoris Part ) No light in my eyes covered by my own fears of my spirit separating from the flesh I wish to give away

No loose lungs always collapsed by crys of peace hymns violated by crushed dreams of a held truth

To be a arms length from my life kept enclosed with the eye of the most high and i continue to ask

I am to realize my faith falls on the reality of your bondage relentless rage covered by false love but still rape the youth of there dreams of triumph

Is this how i am supposed to in vision my zion?

The river of Eden forms from my eyes as i frantically wash away the daymares i am forced to walk on air with by the decreasing minute

Nursing the failure of my people i am dared to step forth and poke a caved in chest out and demand my shackles be released from the mends to my skin

Am i to sacrifice such a burden when the faith of potential followers are breed to see only the failures where i am to be covered by their blood

My thoughts while I dangle..... from..... this...... tree...

Laker Nation

The site is legit no front on that. Im a die hard laker fan I been here since tha homie kobe and fish were rooks and kobe was throwin up air balls lol. So yuh LAK SHOW all the way.

SMH

So im sposed ta just be like yuh its coo then go back to normal.................. Nope not me patna im fina be 22 which means God has blessed me with another year of wisdom. I dont expect too many to understand what that means but they can research it. Im no longer at the point of letting this roll cuz of how strong my little bonds are with ppl. Not singling anyone out but puttin the heart on paper feel me????? The shit ant flyin no more it didnt fly in 2009 08 07 and 2010 in that order..... Think im fina let the shit fly this year. naw naw..... naw naw wrong black man kid. Blackout

Untitled

Why must I fall victim to the evil deeds of dark followers? Bats that want to suck the very blood of my success dry then hang my dreams high above my head in endless oblivion? Is it because I cut my own life line so they could smell the failure run down the road instead of across the street? I refuse to become a pawn of flying rat scams. Viruses that manifest a plaque of sick dreams, weak minds, and fuck world riots. Why should I allow the demons to have their way and touch my floor. Casting my angels to their ceiling corners to avoid the shroud of neglect that feeds the minds of the maggot minded? Should I give birth to my own grubs and let them feed on the uplift and praise of new days and replace them with images of crippled prophecies? Letting broken mirrors count the very moments of my self destruction 20 19 18 17 16. Let this be a book pre written to my life I can not foresee and every hand in this dyeing planet has a pen 15 14 13 12 11. Let my words become the light that directs the lost to freedom and peace for new life 10 9 8 7 6. Just allow my visions to predominate a dream cloud that floats away and watch the sky move further from your eye until 5 4 3 2 1. Blackout. - Jmo

Anger builds today. A self discussion much needed.

"Ok Mo idk what to say about this one cuz I heard it too you know this right?"

"Yuh Im aware J."

"Y do you continue to let what others say get to you like this you know this is not you?"

"Did you not hear what she told me he said? That was not cool and he expects me to show him respect when he talk down on me and my girl behind our back like that. Why tha hell dont he just say this shit in our face so we kno was up, speak our mind, then leave his ass with the trash?"

"Idk bruh but I kno because of this situation that just occurred its why you gotta grind more and more you gota get it cuz he tryna keep everyone down cuz shit and goin right in his life."

"I understand but how am I supposed to maintain my head when he disses my girl?"

"By pushing her harder and pushing yourself to become more then what other people see you as. To him, she isnt doin anything. You see her potential and she is starting to see it too and you lit a fire that she didnt even kno she had."

"I hear ya."

"Strengthen your inner peace and let your storm rest."

"ok."

"Then she will learn to develop the peace you have and it could possibly become even stronger than yours."

"Understood thanks J I need the self talk."

"I'm always here with you and God is too. Keep Peace my bruh."

"Keep Peace."

Spoken Word Poetry THE MALE EGO

Guinness - "Spoken Word"

Roy Hargrove feat D'Angelo - I'll Stay

Progression or Regretion???????????

Today I feet like I was doing the right thing even tho it seemed like I was being a typical "NIGGA". I mean sometimes I ask god why did he write certain situations in my life and the result don't turn out like I expect them too. Guess that's what I get for not really seeing things his way. I became a bit wiser today and that's a good thing to me as I grow to learn new things in this world. Even tho I feel I lost a great friend that is near and dear to me. I feel this experience will better the both of us. I pray for forgiveness if I went about things the wrong way because even wise men fall sometimes. If there is no forgiveness from earth I pray forgiveness comes from the higher power and self spirit. At this moment I have no idea what to make of things but I choose to leave everything in God's hands now. I am a growing man not yet a grown man so I take things like I always have and always will. As God wills it to come. I stand on my own two because dad taught me that way. I must endure even in the dark times and fear losing my peace of mind.

Peace Yo, Jmo

Good News

Man I recieved some really good news but the thing is I recieved this news during a time that I have sort of started openning a new door. See The thing is I really LOVE her but I dnt know what I should do. Yea my school come first but then wat after tht.......Im so into this one girl but I CAN NOT let my heart be taken no matter wat happens it just not gunna happen not because i say its not but the feelings the emotions the desire everything..........No one is like her. I feel she is me its so scary I love it...... Yin and Yang ya kno lol

Peace Yo, Jmo

The Fallen

Fallen into a spiritual deception

My mind has wondered a maze of confusion

Straying down a path unaware of its direction

Trying to find my place of zionic recreation

Fighting a physical seclusion

Want to check myself into a mental institution

Blinded myself to see the wrong perception

I have fallen for a spiritual deception

In need of self destruction

My sin is an internal manifestation

Release my soul from this symbiotic eruption

"Simple Yet Complex Emotions of the I"

Sometimes I wonder if being an artist is something I call myself to feel like I have meaning.

If being an artist seems like a cop out, a lie like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

I am a wolf in sheep’s clothing telling you what you want to hear, connecting with you emotionally to later destroy your well being without a second thought.

I am a wolf in sheep’s clothing, a poet, a pariah, the who, what, where of your mind asking why is he able to use his words to manipulate my thoughts and control my passions, my desire to want......

I am an outcast, lost soul the feel alone among my own kind. Left to rot in the bellies of the worms like a fungus to you people I am nothing more than.....an outcast.

A lost soul....My soul is lost not in faith but in the words that are not of this mind, this body, this spirit, but of creation, manifestation, I am in search of liberation from these many levels of hell I have discovered and claimed to be called my thoughts. My thoughts are hell bound.

I am lost in my anger that flows molten rocks of hate to cast down those who stand against me. Blackness that infects my heart like a parasite with time grows and increases raging passion to spill the blood of mindlessness rage and unspoken pain where a strong faith is now extinct. Only hollowness.

I am the dieing voice that calls out frantically for the bleeding to come to an end. No control over the mindless pain spilling blood from rage that only means to find its way to the peaceful Zion’s of the mind. The soul of the once weak-minded man is found now shown the truth of oneself.

The poet whose spoken words elevate possibilities in hope to make amends for the fallen. Eradicate despair to become a divine whole who knows who I is. The Artist.

Beyond Measure

Some things are hard to grasp when it's too late to change the unpredictable points in time.

Some things are too painful to bare by oneself too devastating to ride out.

Some things can bring one within an inch of his or her life by just assuming and accepting one thought of negativity.

Because see sometime one can be calm as the Milky Way and then suddenly rage can consume the human soul as Venus's outside appearance covers and disguises the hell zone storm within it atmosphere.

It's these thoughts that take one's mind through a black hole of negativity in the middle of a universe of positive emotions and when one is consumed by the silence and negative thought the mysterious qeustion is cemented in the mind "Am I Alone".

It's like the eye of a hurricane easy and when pushed to the edge can completely change the lives of everyone around who is caught in the destruction.

This destructive tsunami I just filled you in on runs through these veins like the legendary Nile without a moments rest it's a wonder how I can even maintain a level head.

Because of you I can be who I am and what you have done for me my heart and soul is always at peace.

You are me I am you and you created me to spread news of a higher power that overcomes all negativity.

I understand why you allow this rage to flourish from your throne and the feeling bleed out from my soul and be spoken through a powerful voice you created for others to listen.

Need I say more it is clear who the higher power is?

Only you and there is no other.

Where My Dreams, Imaginations and Creations Are

I am not just Black...I'm Better

What do you see when you look at me?

Do you so see a man, a animal, a alien.

Maybe you see a black man.

In your eyes a boy that wont go nowhere in life.

Hang out on the corner doing nothing but get drunk go home beat his girl if he has one and go hang out on the same corner and talk about how the economy doesn't care about the black man.

No what you you looking' at is your future, your progress.

I am the true definition of what black leaders fought for and I am the result accomplished.

A Black man.

Born with two strikes and always watched and waited on to get a third.

As they put it. "one less nigger ta worry about."

what you see is a temple of sacred thoughts and emotions that can not be controlled.

I am life.

I am soul.

I am not just Black.

I am Black, Intelligent, Truth, Talented, Eternity,Resolution.

I am not just Black.

I am Better.